Sunday, February 24, 2008
the leap year.

it comes in every four years,

and it was never that significant for me,

except this year,

im gonna host my advanced 21st celebration. :)



i guess the recurring nightmares didnt help,

but something jolted my tingling joy and excitement today.




my first two 21st bday gifts. =)


two lovely bags.


one from aunt,


and another from uncle and wife.




i really appreciate their thoughtfulness and love. :)


such sweet surprises.


i love. :)




and thanks jiayi dear for that surprise camomile tea sachets. :)


hope you enjoyed your botak jones celebration! =)




i sincerely hope everything would unfold itself by friday.


gosh.


and chee dear, i know its been troublesome cos i never posted my wishlist online.
(cos i found it quite crappy. :( )


but yeah for your benefit,


i thk im getting a DS and a wallet already.

:)


so yeah.

and i want a card.

a huge one, small font. :)

thats my wish. haha. :p


and im so thankful to kaitiantian and my bro,


not forgetting gossipshit and sangee. :)


LOVEYOU GUYS.
i noe u all noe it. :)

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sy. 8:21 PM

Saturday, February 23, 2008




















been having bz days lately.
been feeling moody lately too.
i guess i understand how some of my frens feel nearing their birthdays now.
perhaps i took a wrong step.
perhaps ive changed.
but like chengsong said,
no matter how old you are,
wads more impt is your maturity level.
and thrs nothing wrong with crying,
or tearing shud you not be able to cry.
i gather that talking to your subconscious mind seriously helps a lot.
its terrifying, but really helpful.

all the lectures have come to a close,
and come next wk,
its prelims and full day weekday weekend revision lectures.
and exams.
sigh.
i feel so frustrated,
not exactly because of all the things coming my way,
but rather, disappointment over many things.
and i can only relate how i feel by visiting the temple,
cos only they understand.

sometimes it rli hurts when ppl u trust still dont understand you.
they thk youre rli that moronic,
and dont even know wads going on in your own life.
sometyms noone but yourself is clear abt wads gg on in your own life,
and youre just trying to face it.
trying to be realistic.
so wad if i dont have dreams?
i just dont like to lead myself on.
and if you dont like that,
you can keep it to yourself,
thankyou very much.
and period. pls dont talk abt this anymore.

and bz bz bz bz wk next wk.
i just hope that that nightmare of mine doesnt materialise.
and a big thankyou to all those who are willing to come! :)

sy. 2:18 AM

Friday, February 08, 2008
happy chinese new year! :)

there was a girl who always looked forward to cny eve,
bcos that was the only night where her father,
alongside with her mum and sis and sometimes bro,
would happily immerse in the festive occasion,
squeeze among the preposterous congregation in chinatown,
and feel ecstatic over the economical purchases,
as well as lovely sightings of the fireworks, firecrackers and colourful confetti.

the confetti, simply made her eyes light up in bliss.
she never said so, but she really loved her family.

she very well knew that her condition had encumbered
her family&friends for the past 4 yrs,
but like any other girl, she longed for happiness.
she longed to be able to receive as much as she could give, love.
it was not just once or twice that she had been sneered for her condition.
ppl ard her could not and still cannot accept what had become of her,
including herself.

she tried ways and means to get better,
but always gets weighed down by her failed attempts sometimes.
and it had to occur again, this cny eve.
she told herself she would not cry over this agn,
she fought back her tears,
she heard her dad murmuring,
"带你出门是世界上最麻烦的事情".
and this would probably be imprinted in her heart again,
even though she knew he may have blurted it out at the spur of the moment,
or whether or not he just wanted to rant.
she doesnt deserve to impede others' lives anymore.

to you who will probably never read this:
i dunno why im so affected by you. sometimes i wish i could just ignore you.
but i hope time can give me an answer to everything.
and i know time will.
sometimes i really dunno wad is on your mind.
but i am confused myself.
so you either stay and not play games with me,
or exit my life.

p.s.: rec and skelby, i will post the photos up real soon. (:

sy. 2:18 AM